The officer shows me a photo of the missing child. “Is this you?” he says. “If it is,” I say, “do I win a prize?” He thinks it’s a joke and he narrows his eyes, but what he can’t see is I’m half-serious. The last time I opened my door for police, they went Gordon Ramsay on my couch cushions and earned me a cash settlement in the low four figures. This officer, with his acne scars, looks more like a Jehovah’s Witness. “Will you please take it?” He rattles the photocopy. I believe it’s … [Read more...] about You Haven’t Won Anything Yet